When lifestyle changes are needed what really determines your ability or willingness to change?
It is likely that we have all, at some point, experienced the feeling that something needs to change in our lives. In some cases we may have been told that we need to change because something is threatening our health, career, relationship on some level. We know, intrinsically, that without addressing the concerns, making some changes our physical and emotional wellbeing will suffer and possibly that of the people closest to us.
Yet we still don’t make the changes. Why?
Why might be the obvious question. But it isn’t necessarily the right question to get to the root of what might be holding you back. As a Nutrition & Lifestyle Coach (NLC) it is important to go beyond asking ‘why’ questions. An NLC must help a client to dig a bit deeper in order to identify how ready they feel for change and what factors are really driving the desire for change. So the focus might be on the ‘what’ ‘how’ ‘when’ ‘where’ ‘who’ questions.
Change will usually happen in stages and very early on, before anything can happen, we need to become aware of our desire for change and use that awareness to understand why we want to change.
Awareness comes before change and it is usually true that when we have that awareness our ability to create lasting and meaningful change is heightened.
As an NLC I work with the Readiness for Change model created by James Prochaska that focuses on 6 stages that we may go through in changing a behaviour. The stages run right through from being unaware or unconcerned of the need for change to awareness and considering change and on to preparation, taking action, maintaining those changes and finally termination when the new behaviour is an integral part of your life. The stages of change are effectively a spiral so you may not move through them in a linear fashion but rather cycle and recycle through them until you naturally engage in the new behaviour without too much thought.
A good Wellness Coach is not only seeking to encourage but invite you and help you to find the motivation that lies within you. So what does motivate change?
On a basic level there are a few types of motivation. There are two types of fear based motivation and there is development based motivation.
Lets see what these look like in practice.
Deficiency based motivation is fear based and comes from a focus on what is missing in your life (a sense of lack) – Often this shows up as a Should. ‘I should exercise today. If I don’t exercise I will lose my six pack and I’ll never be attractive without a six pack.
Threat based motivation is fear based and usually propels an individual to take action in order to avoid pain, illness or early death.
As humans we are very good at finding ways to avoid fear based motivation – denial is a great example and whilst fear based motivation might kick start us it doesn’t always bode well for long term results.
On the other hand, Development Based motivation focuses on our innate need to explore our potential, much of which comes from our external sources like peers. So if our workmates get together to run after work or decide collectively to cut back on alcohol, we might be motivated to see whether we can join in and benefit.
This type of motivation is more empowering and generally more sustainable. It allows us to focus on some self-love too which isn’t a bad thing.
Wherever you find yourself in your quest for change and whatever is motivating you, it may be useful to think about who else would benefit from your improved lifestyle?
Family, friends, workmates, your boss (as you see your performance at work reach new heights), knowing that the first step is always to take care of yourself so that those vital changes can create a ripple effect that reaches others and might just inspire change for them too.